I decided to wait a week before departing, to see if I would get a response from this “tumblr support” in the parallel reality in which society remains intact. Alas, I have heard nothing, which leads me to believe not only that it was a freak occurrence, but that this parallel universe is one I would not wish to live in. Even if this support staff thought that it was fictitious, I would have expected some kind of reply stating this claim. I suppose that would be too much to ask for in a world brimming with people and technical difficulties.
That said, I will be departing, leaving you with this image of my Mystic Writing Cube (the device I have been using to record my dreams). I will, of course, be bringing the device with me, and will share my dreams with you when I return. This return, however, will not take place on Tumblr. Following this disappointing experience of lying in wait amidst electronic silence, I believe it would be best to take this blog elsewhere. I will certainly inform you of its new location once I am back.
I will be available via email or twitter during my absence, as long as this unmanned cellular network continues to operate.
Farewell for now, may you find peace whether or not you actually exist.
Your humble servant,
Dear Non-Existent Readers:
I’m going away for awhile, though this clearly means nothing since I’ve been away for quite some time. I am losing my mind, perhaps because I have not ventured outdoors since the incident you will come to understand by reading the correspondence below. I am preparing for a journey of unknown length and will post at least of the dreams I’ve had in the past few months before I depart within the next 48 hours. Additionally, from within some state of hypnosis, I seem to have created a small universe of tweeters with whom I seemingly engage in a speech I cannot understand. But perhaps the mistake has been that I, the real Kiki, have avoided the twitter interface from my own “state of controlled consciousness” since the intrusion of these alternative voices. Perhaps we will engage one another…
In short, you may review the correspondence below in order to better understand my state of anxiety. I will be sure to post any response I receive prior to my departure if one arrives. The further mystery is that after sending these emails, my name appears altered, though I am composing them from my own account. But the name is clearly a simple transposition of my own, clearly not a proper name in its own right.
Standing by for lift-off,
We’ve received your support request (Ticket 1339802), and will get back to you as soon as we can.
Jan 05 01:47 pm (EST)
This is a follow-up to your previous request #1255086 “disappearing posts”
I know it’s been nearly two months since you’ve written me with this horrible news. While I appreciate your attempt to ensure that future posts, written by me on my Android device, will not disappear into the ether that is the internet over a cellular network, I am too traumatized by this experience to dare make a second attempt. These posts were original compositions, unique works written while in motion amidst an urban space, and they can never be recreated or retrieved.
Such is a destiny I refuse to accept for any words that emerge from my mind onto the semi-permanent landscape that is written communication. So I will simply stick with pen, paper, and a wired Internet such as I encounter in my domestic space.
More importantly, though, and the reason for my delay, is the fact that I believe we have formed a connection across parallel universes. You respond to my inquiry as if you are present in a “conventional” period in which commerce, technical support, the whole social system of human beings, remains intact. You are, indeed, the first consciousness that has communicated with me through an interface that I know I did not create (as I did with the “questions” I was attempting to respond to in the posts about which this “support ticket” is concerned, since I’ve found footage that I recorded while under self-imposed hypnosis that show me creating the tumblr accounts and sending in the questions).
You see, I am alone where I am, as far as I can see. And I discovered this reality from a state of amnesia. And while the Internet and cellular networks are still operational (to a point), there is no activity out there except for my own. I would think that if you (or the other individuals who have responded to this inquiry thus far) were in this same reality, you would refer to it in some way in your response.
In short, since you cannot retrieve my posts, which is all I really want, as they provide valuable information in understanding my psyche and surroundings, can you tell me what your world is like? If there are other people around and what it is like to interact with them?
On Nov 19, 2012, at 10:31 AM, Tumblr Support wrote:
> ##- Please type your reply above this line -##
> Your request (Ticket 1255086) has been updated.
> You can respond by replying to this email.
> Turner (Tumblr Support)
> Nov 19 01:31 pm (EST)
> I am sorry, but unfortunately we can not retrieve the posts. Please read the following to ensure the Android app is running correctly:
> Tumblr for Android requires Android OS 2.1 or higher. The most recent version of the application requires Android OS 2.2 or higher. The download page for the application will offer you the latest version that can run on your phone’s Android OS. Tumblr for Android is not currently compatible with tablet devices.
> Have you tried restarting your Android device?
> Have you verified the time on your device is correct for your current location?
> Have you tried upgrading to the newest version of the Android app or reinstalling it? You can do that at:
> If you are still having a problem (for example try doing some test posts), providing us with this information will help us address it:
> * What specific Android device are you using?
> * What OS version is that device running?
> * Who is your mobile network provider if you have one?
> * Is your device “jailbroken” or hacked in any way?
> Tumblr.com / Photoset.com Support.
> Kiki North
> Nov 18 06:37 pm (EST)
> Hi Kevin:
> The two posts were responses to questions. Thankfully, I can still retrieve the questions from my email. I have pasted them and their submission details (username of question-asker, time of questioning) below. Following each question I have also written notes (italic text) of what I remember saying in response, although they are very fuzzy memories. This is all the detail I am capable of collecting. Your assistance is very much appreciated.
> merkin4 asked on 10/29/12:
> Kiki, I know you have had some memory issues. Maybe I can help. The last paper I saw said something about: Giants Sweeping. I could send you the photo. Do you remember this one? Have you seen it? Who are these Giants??? Where did they come from? Could they save us? Or are they the ones who swept us away?
> I responded with some quip speculating on how large these brooms would have to have been, and requested that she send me the photo she refers to. Cannot remember further details.
> desert-snowflake asked on 10/18/12:
> Hey, Keeks! I ventured out to what appeared to be an old, abandoned mine nearby. There had been rumors for years that a bunch of survivalists lived there. Apparently the rumors are true since I found a HUGE warehouse of food. This should take care of my needs for quite some time. Oddly, they left behind some writing in the sand … it read “we TOLD you so!”. Otherwise, no sign of life for miles around. I haven’t ventured too far yet, as I’m just not sure how safe it is yet.
> I responded with some reference to the remarkable psychic abilities of these supposed survivalists, and further inquired as to where they might have gone. I urged desert-snowflake to exercise caution in consuming the food she found since it could very well be tainted. I reminded her to be brave since she did survive the apocalypse, and I cannot remember anything further.
> Kevin (Tumblr Support)
> Nov 16 11:43 am (EST)
> Hi Kiki,
> Can you describe the the posts in as much detail as you can?
> Tumblr.com / Photoset.com
> Kiki North
> Nov 15 08:41 pm (EST)
> I recently wrote and published two posts on my blog (
> http://that-which-survives.tumblr.com/) which have now disappeared. This
> was my first time posting using the tumblr app from my android phone, so I
> am not sure if that has anything to do with it.. Could you please tell me
> why this happened, how to avoid it in the future, and if there is any way
> that I can retrieve the posts?
> My usename is this email address: firstname.lastname@example.org
> Thank you in advance.
> This email is a service from Tumblr Support.
desert-snowflake-deactivated201 said: Kiki: I think it's horribly ironic that I finally have unlimited voice and data usage, since there's nobody to pay. Sadly, there's no one to call! ; ) How long do you think the infrastructure will survive? Anyways, I'm wondering what you've seen "out there", and where are you finding food? I'm here outside of Roswell, and as such, it took me several days to even realize that everyone else was gone.
My Esteemed Snowflake:
Thank you ever so much for your indelibly witty inquiry. I wish I could answer your first question more definitively, but I’ve been troubled to collect any further data regarding why the technological and utilitarian infrastructure is still operational, and thus cannot say with any conclusiveness how long it will remain available for use. I have a hunch, however, that it will be “around” much longer than we suspect. I say this because it could not possibly be maintaining itself, and thus that who or whatever is responsible for its present survival would likely wish to continue it so long as s/he/it is capable of doing so. Unless the intention is not only to spy on our activity within, but to grow our dependency on it during these desperate times, only to rip it from our hands with a malice heretofore unimagined by any decent soul.
That said, I would confidently “put my money” on at least 3 more months.
To answer your second and third questions: I have seen very little “out there”, seeing as I commit a great deal of time to this show and ceased exploring shortly after the first week of my awakening here. Whilst exploring, however, I saw many empty streets, cars, and houses, scattered throughout the urban cosmos. Signage is fading, and many windows are quite unclean.
Regarding food, I was fortunate enough to discover twenty pounds of rice and a large vegetable garden at my residence. I am not sure what I will do once the rice is exhausted, but I have plenty of time to brainstorm. What have you been doing for food?
In light of your being in Roswell, I must ask if you have explored either Area 51 or the Los Alamos Laboratory? There would most likely not be anyone there to stop you from accessing restricted areas of either of these nearby locations, and if there is then they would certainly be accompanied by some most fascinating information. I’d be most interested in hearing about your discoveries were you to make such journeys. And I assume you saw nothing at the crash site since you make no reference to it, though I’d be delighted to be proven wrong.
Best wishes in the desert,
Although I continue to find myself in complete isolation outside of the Internet and this handful of questions that I may have just written myself and forgotten about, I have found a way for the show to continue growing despite being located in a vacuum. This miraculous idea came forth after I began dreaming about guests appearing on the show, unveiling secrets and nuance I’d never even had the courage to imagine. Since there could easily be some sign or direction inside these dreams and interactions, not to mention the great potential they serve as material for the broadcast, I’ve constructed a machine capable of exporting my dreams directly to disk. Through this machine, which I have named “The Mystic Writing Cube,” I have successfully recorded one such dream that I now share with you. Together with passages from “The Language of Psychoanalysis,” I meet an intriguing young woman named Laura who believes she may be at fault regarding the apocalypse.
Here you find the full dream, uncensored and uncut, direct from my brain. Stay tuned for Episode #3 where I will tell you more about “The Mystic Writing Cube”, and begin analysis of this most fascinating nocturnal meandering.
dagmardaria said: dear kiki, you speak of having a "past" - i wonder if this is not just a consequence of hypnosis? love, dagmar
What a fascinating proposition. Indeed, hypnosis could certainly be responsible, not only for my believing that I have a past but also for being unable to locate it. But what if that is the catch? Perhaps I do not have a past… I suppose I could be an automaton of some kind, possibly even responsible for what happened… a pastless killer, now left alone to wonder…. forever.
But this seems unlikely, seeing as I experience a great deal of what I understand to be human emotion, especially empathy and remorse, which do not often appear in bloodthirsty robots. But, of course, the hypnosis might have also caused me to feel these emotions, so that I would never guess what I had done…
But this is all just conjecture. Perhaps I will attempt some Stage Hypnosis on the show in efforts to engage and explore this idea and demonstrate my innocence. Or am I distracting myself from the bigger question: who was it that may have hypnotized me?
merkin4 said: Kiki - you might be able to find it (Earth Abides) at one of those hippie, underground, radical library thingies, but who knows. So do you think we are experiencing the Rapture? (If so-I'm happy I was left behind because I'm finally able to enjoy some peace and quiet.) But I also wonder, if the Rapture takes people on this earth what happens to those joker astronauts on the Mir Space Station? Do those fools also get left behind? But maybe I am over thinking this? HM
I am not familiar with the underground radical libraries of which you speak; are they comparable to a hybrid between the lost city of Atlantis and the Library of Alexandria? Do you have evidence or insight into their survival? It would be helpful beyond words to connect with such an institution, not only to acquire Earth Abides but also to carve out a plan regarding how we will aggregate, store, and distribute the knowledge/information that remains.
In terms of your second question, I suppose it would depend on whether the force/agency that did this is more concerned with Earth, or humans. If it’s just “clearing out” Earth that they wanted, then I imagine that the astronauts are fine. But if it’s the people… then I shudder even to think of it. Unless, of course, the astronauts are the ones behind it all… KN
merkin4 said: Kiki, Have you read Earth Abides? I found it very comforting in this apocalyptic moment, well, that and my Winchester .30-06. I think we may have internet for a little while. Toilets for even longer! Thank the dear baby jesus. (Unless of course this is all a conspiracy. I need to re-watch all of Revolution.) I want to know why Melvin thought it wise to swim across the bay rather than just walking across the bridge or stealing a boat? Yours Truly - Helena Montana
Thank you so much for your communication. I have not read Earth Abides, but I will certainly pursue it soon, though I am not sure how to track it down since ecommerce is not up-and-running and all traditional bookstores were eradicated from California in December of 2012. I am glad that it brought you comfort.
Coincidentally, I have also been watching Revolution in pursuit of clues regarding our present situation. I think that the 5th episode is especially useful for this purpose.
You raise a good point about Melvin, especially considering the fact that he was transporting a large amount of camera equipment, none of which is waterproof.
But there is much more to say about all of this. I will address your points in more detail in Episode #3. Stay tuned.
Your Humble Servant,
EPISODE II: KIKI’S STORY THUS FAR
I reflect, yet again, on the first episode and also reveals more of what I can remember of my “past.” In so doing, I unearth an alarming coincidence regarding the history of the Internet and the history of American talk shows. Additionally, I continues to theorize about my circumstances and develop conspiratorial scenarios alongside visions of names that just might reveal why I am here and why I feel compelled to produce this broadcast.
EPISODE I: WAITING FOR MELVIN
I, the host, reflect on the as-yet-unaired pilot broadcast and begin to speculate on methods for contacting those who have apparently vanished. Shockingly, I appear to receive a “communication” from another Survivor with dubious intentions, which forces me to rethink my strategy and focus on refining what remains of my “network.”